Falling in Love Montage

“Taylor Will Take You Home” – by Christian Grey

There are some people who say that I don’t have a heart at all.
So is he your boyfriend?
I saw the way he was smiling at you.
I don’t do the girlfriend thing.
Necrophilia’s not my thing.
I had Taylor pick you up some clothes.
Yours were covered in vomit.
I don’t do romance.
I’m not going to touch you until I have your written consent.
It’s called a flogger.
Not full time, just Friday through to Sunday.
You’re biting your lip.
Hold out your wrists.
That’s not really my thing.
Try not to get hung up on sleeping arrangements.
I was her submissive for six years.
But your body tells me something different.
Did you just roll your eyes at me?
Your biting your lip, you know what that does to me. Turn around.
When were you going to tell me about Georgia?
You’re mine. All mine.
Understand?
I would never do anything to you that you couldn’t handle.
Bend over. I’m going to hit you six times, and you’re going to count with me.
Please don’t hate me.
I’ll send you a check.

In this episode we go long and deep—which is more than we can say for Michael, Lionel, and Troy #lols.
Friendship perseveres and this film grasps hard at what it means to be a woman. Listen to it 732 times…or light it on fire…but maybe at least listen to it once, first.

#FeeltheBernie

If you don’t have a strong opinion about Eminem then you have a lot in common with Jenna Rink. Go back in time and then forward in time and then back in time and then to present day with us, your hosts, Helen and Valerie, in this fun wish fulfillment chick flick. It will be fabuloso.

In accord with this, arguably, too long movie — we present this, arguably, too long podcast episode. Also harmonious to the movie, there will be sisters and champagne.

No one is going to Spice Force Five you to listen to this episode, but if you’re looking to recommit yourself to girl power— this is prime opportunity. In this episode, Helen admits to “playing” Spice Girls as a child and I don’t even tease her (don’t even hear her). I’m favoring whichever scenario I come out looking like a better sister.
Join us on our journey through time, chicas to the front—every boy and every girl—Spice Up Your Life.

Our second episode is perfect for a drinking game.

Here are the rules:
1) Drink every time I (Valerie) repeat what Helen has just said.

2) Drink every time Helen and Valerie achieve “one voice”.

3) Drink every time I (Valerie) talk over Helen.

But whatever you do…do not drink every time I (Valerie) say “in the book”, because honestly, I just don’t think you’ll survive it—and we need love you, dear listeners.